missedtarget's movie Reviews on Newgrounds

[Living Dead Girl]

I really liked this! The only thing I didn't think fit was the soundtrack... It was a little bubbly. I kind of expected something more like this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wzjYRW RKb_Y&feature=related

Anyway, great job. Very cute.

BoozyLungfish responds:

Thanks for the feedback... I wanted to use music that contradicted what was actually going on... originally, I was gonna have her kill all the other kids, but I thought it would be funnier if she was just trying to be a normal little girl... anyway, thanks again...

[Brother & Sister Short 1]

Let me say, right off the bat, this is going to come out meaner than I intend it to. Two things are my pet peeves in flash animation, 1: lengthy "made by" animations. That said, you do have a skip option. Here's a better idea: if that's even a concern, dude, shorten that mofo up. 2: Too many credits. You made this. I get it. You do NOT need to list yourself for every conceivably related task. You don't need the ego boost of seeing your name multiple times in your own animation.

Now, as to the short itself... These are the jokes of a man who has only the most rudimentary understanding of what is funny. Sorry, I couldn't really think of a nicer way to say that. The art, that I hesitantly call your style, is kind of a cross between Southpark and... well, kindergarten drawings. I don't mind the idea of stylistic, over-simplified art, but the key factor of that art is that it is a SIMPLIFICATION, not a misrepresentation. The arms that jut awkwardly out and then go straight down are actively distracting because it's... wrong. Kindergarten drawing wrong.

Critiquing the funny:
This is what I would refer to as my "thing," so I humbly offer my advice, for what it's worth. First off, these characters don't work for comedy. Like, at all. The brother isn't dumb enough to be dumb-funny and the sister is a walking cliche of "know-it-all, always-right" comedy that has NEVER been funny. Even Lisa on the Simpsons only worked as a straight man. And STILL no one liked her.

The unfunny in the conceit: you need to have the paper be about something. If it's not about something, you just end up making vague "that's kind of dumb" references. Like using lol in a paper. That is not funny. Also, don't be afraid to take it somewhere. This is comedy. You take it to the absurd. Take it to the crazy and the mean and the edge.

Let me give you an example:
Unfunny version:
Sister: "He spelled this word three different ways in this paper."
Brother: "Ha, he is dumb."

Funny version:
Sister: "He was talking about the stock exchange and then just kind of went on a two-page long rant about the jews."
Brother: "Well, they do eat Christian babies."

Unfunny version:
Sister: "He used 'lol' in this paper."
Brother: "Ha, he is dumb."

Funny version:
Sister: "He used 'D2F?' a bunch of times... What does D2F mean?"
Brother: "'Down to fuck?'"
Sister: (beat) "I... I just threw up in my mouth a little."

See, if you're got a very down-to-earth conceit, you need to really press to get any humor out of it. The contrast is part of what makes things funny. The reverse is also true, by the way. But here, it's a boring conceit that you didn't really do anything with. There's a lot more I could go in to, but I don't want to be a bore. PM me if you're interested, otherwise, I'll wrap up.

And finally, your animation...
Actually wasn't bad. Pleasantly smooth. Kudos.

Aqlex responds:

Whoa, what a long review! But, I appreciate it, it's always nice to hear about all the specifics that one likes/dislikes and thinks could be improved or built upon. I'm going to try and respond to each of the things in here, and maybe explain myself a little on some of them.
First, yeah, I realize that little logo animation is a bit long, and I did provide the skip for it. I do want to make it something simpler and shorter one day, but I've been putting off making a new one due to laziness. I will get to work on this eventually though.
The credits, it's a kind of template that I've been using forever now that I just copy and paste from each older animation, and change out the names. I definitely have myself in there too much (especially for this animation, I really had even fewer others involved than usual). That credits template deserves a rewrite as well, though again, it's been held back by laziness.
Now the art, I'm sorry you didn't enjoy it. It's definitely "wrong", in that it really doesn't translate to a human body very well at all. They were originally paper cutouts that I made when I was much younger, and although I do want to tweak them slightly, I really wanted to keep the general look the same, because I personally found the look to be somewhat fun and unique. None of my other animations really have a style quite like this one (although there are, of course, similarities).
Now, onto the comedic failure. I completely understand your advice for much of it, and I do understand why the extreme contrast and ridiculousness is funny, but I just don't feel like that's something I am trying to do with this animation (not in general, but with these characters specifically). I see what you're saying about having to press to get humor out of it, but I feel like that's the route I'd rather take with these guys. I want the characters to be down to earth (for the most part). I do love south park (I'm a huge fan), but I really don't want to take things as far as Matt and Trey would. If my characters die, they're going to stay dead (okay, Kenny has an explanation, but it's still one too out-of-this-world for what I want to do here). If my characters learn something or experience something, that's going to be there to stay. I don't want the Brother to be so dumb that he couldn't even realistically function. I also hope that the sister doesn't simply fall into that stereotypical caricature, because I'm hoping she'll develop into something a little beyond that herself (given a bit more screen time).
I do have a second short I'd like to do where I feel like the general concept (is that what you meant by conceit?) is a bit more fun, and where I'm going to have slightly cleaner versions of the characters, and I'm going to try to continue this down-to-earth thing. If that one still fails on all levels, I might reconsider using these characters again.
And finally, on the animation, thanks! I'm glad you had something you liked =P.
Thanks for the long and in-depth review, it's nice to know that there are people out there willing to write them, and I want to let you know that I appreciate it.

[Wikishits]

Small note, I love your choice of tags.

[SKYRIM-BOOBIES-MINECRAFT]

The audio's crap. I was promised boobs. I hate this.

Mario/Sonic jokes was funny though.

Speedo responds:

BUT I GAVE YOU BOOBS. I GAVE YOU BOOOBS

[crow the magician]

Good idea, but the animation is kind of rudimentary and the art is just sort of... meh.

[Brain Freeze]

I like it. Sorry it's not a little longer, but otherwise a helluva lot funnier and better animated than the "this is my first cartoon"s that pass through the portal.

ieJoMaFLo responds:

Well I'm glad you enjoyed it! And yea it's short but I made this as a practice animation for a bigger cartoon I'm workin on. It was kicking my but so I decided to do a few simpler projects to help me get the hang of things.

[On the next episode...]

Happy Birthday! I fucking love Dragon Ball Z.

[Crack & Jello Music Video]

You parodied a parody song, dude. Did you think you could do better?

TheNoseMilk responds:

"Jack Sparrow" wasn't a parody song. How many bears have you been shagging lately?

[Chapter Blue: Episode 1]

I really liked your glow effects, and the animation was REALLY smooth, given this is your first time to flash. I think if your art improved a little, you'd be a hell of a contender. Also, I would recommend darkening the backgrounds, as your glow effects would be even stronger.

Really, there's a lot going for you here. I'll be watching your development with interest.

Vallhemn responds:

Wow, thanks for the comment and encouragement! I'll keep working on my art and fingers crossed the next one will be even better. :)

[Festival of India]

Holy goddamn, I am so hungry for indian food right now.

Also, excellent animation, for your purposes. You might want to consider a background color/texture, though. Unless you're really in to the minimalist thing.